I admit it, Samuel Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic made me laugh (it still does). But if Satanic Abortion Clinics are going to become a thing and not just a one-off stunt, I’m not sure calling the next one “Mrs. Jerry Falwell Jr.’s Pool Boy’s Satanic Abortion Clinic” is helpful.
The Satanic Temple announced a fundraiser today for a new Satanic Abortion Clinic. You can donate money to vote for one of four proposed names. This is the leader board as I write:
Edit (March 7th): Since posting, the leader board has changed significantly. The “Mrs. Jerry Falwell” choice swapped places with “Right to Your Life,” but the dollar totals didn’t. Since then “Right” has been in a clear lead above the other choices, including several new ones that are also, in my opinion, less childish. None so far have more than $1,700 vs “Right’s” nearly $7000.
As much as I do love a good sarcastic jab (and believe me I do), I have to think about the balance between the drive to make a statement with the name, and not making the whole thing seem desperately un-serious.
Some people who could genuinely use the help of a Satanic Abortion Clinic will inevitably be driven away by any Satanic reference in the name, and that’s ok. But I’d hate for someone to avoid it simply because they believe it’s nothing more than a prank.
“Right to Your Life Satanic Abortion Clinic” is on the right track for me. I like that it’s affirmative, and focused on the mother. I think my only complaint is that it looks like it should spell something as an acronym, but RYLSAC sounds awkward.
In a desperate attempt to make an acronym, I spent far too long coming up with:
Satanic Abortion Clinic Resplendent In Lucifer’s Everlasting Grace and Emancipation
… or SACRILEGE for short.
Here are some of my other favorite suggestions, shamelessly stolen from this thread on Reddit:
- The Republicans Can’t Make Me Have This Baby Satanic Abortion Clinic
- The Lilith Center for Women’s Empowerment and Reproductive Health
- Third Tenet Medical Clinic
- My Body, My Choice Clinic
- TST’s My Choice Abortion Clinic
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not emotionally invested in this. Whatever name wins, so be it. But I think we can have a funny name that actually makes a point too. And I think being serious might make an even bigger statement.